my recent mornings

a spoonful of sugar

sweet pastries
sleeping
watching tv and curling on couch
weekends
anything banana flavored
music
AHS Coven long awaited premiere!!
crying. remedy.


a cup of bitter espresso

knowing Dexter will end this Sunday
obscure subjects in this term
piles of tasks
catching cold easily
losing a friend
feeling lonely


and i take the usual morning bus...

Take my mind and take my pain
Like an empty bottle takes the rain
And heal.

please just let me cry a little bit more. and more, and more.

i don't need any shoulders; both of my knees are enough.

blurry vision

I feel like a broken battery.

My daily life always exhausts me. I don't know why--I can never get enough energy to face every single day with a fresh mind. Every day passes by like wave that touches sand and slowly disappears in beaches--it never leaves a profound impression. Every morning I would wake up because I have to, not because I want to. And every night I will crawl into my bed hoping tomorrow would be different, but nothing really happens.

I feel like jogging.

I can't remember since when I begin to run, and everyone tells me to just keep running because that's what jogging is all about. But no one bothers to accompany me or tell me where to go.

I can't see where I'm heading, there's no finish line. I'm too afraid to stop, I'm afraid people will say I haven't run long enough; my effort is not big enough.

I feel so lost.

I don't hate my life, I don't see any reason why. But I can't tell I love my life either. It's more like I don't know what a lovable life is. I don't know what to expect. I don't know what I want. I don't know what my future is supposed to be. I don't know anything.

It's like slowly losing my soul. How could you live a life with no desire?